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Jackie Walker Stops Moisturising, Occupation Ends!!

In a bid to end the Israeli occupation of the Palestinian territories and to bring an end to an intransigent conflict that has claimed the lives of thousands, Jackie Walker announced today that she will no longer be moisturising. In what some commentators are calling a ‘brave’ and ‘daring’ step taken my Mrs Walker, Revlon shares are reported to have plummeted this morning.

Reports have also been circulating that Ken Loach will no longer be conditioning his hair and Tony Greenstein’s preening routine is also facing drastic changes.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has called an emergency cabinet meeting and has given instructions to his generals to draw up contingency plans for a full scale withdrawal from the occupied territories.