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Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro says Russian President Vladimir Putin has sent “a message of confidence to Venezuela” and “signed agreements on financial support.”

Meanwhile, in a message to Putin, Syrian President Bashar al-Assad “expressed his solidarity, on behalf of the Syrian people, with Putin’s efforts to ‘restore security and stability in the friendly country of Ukraine.’”

Assad stressed that Putin’s reaction to the crisis in Ukraine is legitimate and adheres to the UN’s objectives that aim “to create a balanced and transparent world based on respecting the sovereignty of countries and the right of peoples to decide their destiny,” reported SANA.

Assad described the Russian leadership’s stance as a “wise policy” in the face of “coup attempts against legitimacy and democracy in favor of the terrorist extremists”. He reiterated Syria’s commitment to Putin’s “rational approach” which he described as supporting “the right and truth” and applauded Russia for “saving the world from dangerous events”.

In much the same spirit, Assad is saving Syria from “dangerous events” by killing and starving hundreds of thousands of Syrians and making millions more homeless.

Maybe Assad should offer to send the L.A. gangbangers to help out in Crimea.

Nicolas, Vladimir and Bashar: this goes out to you.