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Masochists Wanted

It would appear that this advertisement for unpaid interns is genuine. Dalkey Archive Press is a publishing house looking for new staff. It makes clear in the advertisement that the “The pool of candidates for positions will be primarily derived from unpaid interns.” While they might take on one or two people in a short term paid position, applicants  should “ assume that [they] will be one of the unpaid interns.”

As well as looking for people who “are very well read in literature,” “highly motivated,” “ambitious,” etc., etc., there is simply no point applying if applicants have “family obligations, writing, involvement with other organizations, degrees to be finished, holidays to be taken, weddings to attend in Rio, etc.” I wonder if you might be allowed time off for a funeral of a grandparent?

Applicants are warned that they will be dismissed for any of the following reasons:

coming in late or leaving early without prior permission; being unavailable at night or on the weekends; failing to meet any goals; giving unsolicited advice about how to run things; taking personal phone calls during work hours; gossiping; misusing company property, including surfing the internet while at work; submission of poorly written materials; creating an atmosphere of complaint or argument; failing to respond to emails in a timely way; not showing an interest in other aspects of publishing beyond editorial; making repeated mistakes; violating company policies.

I can imagine it now – reason for dismissal: “answering a phone call at 7.00pm on a Sunday evening from  your mother who wanted to know what time you were likely to be home for dinner.” What if you want a day off for Christmas? Surely there can be no better response than “Bah, humbug!”

Dismissal can be for failure to meet any goals. One might wonder what these goals might include. In the case of one of the positions available – Personal Assistant to the Publisher – candidates must be able to “know what the Publisher needs or wants before he does.” Perhaps this position is better suited to clairvoyants.

And just in case you were thinking of applying and interested in knowing anything about how your application is proceeding, you are pre-warned:

We will not be able to acknowledge receipt of applications or provide feedback about your application. We will contact only those people whom we wish to ask further questions of or that we intend to interview. Do not contact us about your application.

Hat Tip: Vagenda Magazine via Max Dunbar