Stateside

Dolphins are fish, and other traditional values

Republicans in Congress have launched a new website called America Speaking Out, which– according to its creator, Rep. Kevin McCarthy of California– will “change the course of history.” The stated purpose is to gather ideas for a new GOP agenda, and then have participants give those ideas a thumbs-up or thumbs-down.

As Dana Milbank of The Washington Post writes: “House Republicans, meet the World Wide Web.”

“End Child Labor Laws,” suggests one helpful participant. “We coddle children too much. They need to spend their youth in the factories.”

“How about if Congress actually do thier job and VET or Usurper in Chief, Obama is NOT a Natural Born Citizen in any way,” recommends another. “That fake so called birth certificate is useless.”

“A ‘teacher’ told my child in class that dolphins were mammals and not fish!” a third complains. “And the same thing about whales! We need TRADITIONAL VALUES in all areas of education. If it swims in the water, it is a FISH. Period! End of Story.”
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“Build a castle-style wall along the border, there is plenty of stone laying around about there.” That was in the “national security” section of the new site.

“Legalize Marijuana, cause, like, alcohol is legal. Man. Also.” That was in the “traditional values” section.

“I say, repeal all the amendments to the Constitution.” (“American prosperity” section.)

“Don’t let the illegals run out of Arizona and hide. . . . I think that we should do something to identify them in case they try to come back over. Like maybe tattoo a big scarlet ‘I’ on their chests — for ‘illegal’!!!” (Filed under “job creation.”)
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“Let kids vote!” recommended one. “Let’s make a ‘Social Security Lotto,’ ” proposed another. “What dope came up with the idea of criminalizing a parent’s right to administer corporal punishment?” a third demanded.

Some contributors demanded action to uncover conspiracies involving the 9/11 attacks and the “NEW WORLD ORDER.” One forward thinker recommended that we “build the city of the future somewhere in a non-inhabit part of the United States, preferably the desert.”

Some of the uglier forces of the Internet found their way to the House Republican site. “I oppose the Hispanicization of America,” said one. “These are not patriotic people.” Another contributor had parody in mind (we hope): “English is are official langauge. Anybody who ain’t speak it the RIGHT way should kicked out.”

But Republicans might want to take a hard look at the suggestion that “we need to reframe the discussion” about the BP oil spill to counteract the “environmental whackos” worried about wildlife. Republicans, this person proposed, should argue that “BP is creating a new race of faster dolphins. These fish are unable to compete against the fish of other countries, but now their increased lubrication will allow them to fly through the water. Faster fish = good.”

Obviously this last contributor was not misinformed by his teacher, and therefore doesn’t buy into that pernicious “dolphins are mammals” crap.

A quick glance at the website reveals more of the same.

So this history-changing Republican project has already become a playground for anti-Republican wise-asses? (Republicans do know when they’re being sent up, don’t they?)

Gee, who could have predicted that?

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