None of which is even near accurate

Well, the literal meets the ironic, with sounds of oh? really!! I wasn’t attempting to be accurate. I was being sarcastic and insulting, both to you and to whoever thought it would be a good idea to post this kind of tripe on this blog.

It was not a fire-new newly-cointed portmanteau* word referring to either tushy-licking or fisting in the simple past tense, interesting though the suggestion might be.

* Lewis Carroll

Some readers of this stimulating thread will have been bitterly appalled and disappointed to read Moggy suggesting – even playfully – that she could, had she so desired, have taken a dump on the naff northern oik Derek Draper’s rug [an immensely valuable 17th-Century Bokhari with hunting scenes, greatly coveted by the V&A.]

Mercifully, she did not lower her dungarees and M&S knickers and do this dreadful deed but the very suggestion that she might have done so had the whim struck her at the time has made many of us think of the possibility and, worse, visualise it as vividly as if a tusted confidante were to suggest that the Harperson was once videotaped cornholing Mandelson with a strap-on dildo at a Labour Party social gathering [this is untrue as far as I know.]

Those of us who find scat profoundly unappealing have sustained mental damage as a result of reading this vile filth and visualising Moggy’s distasteful might-have-had-I-so-desired fantasy.

We need help at once. Does anyone know a good psychotherapist?

~*stir*~ ~*stir*~ ~*stir*~

a). That I want to be a columnist for the News of the World.

b). That I have some sort of interest in earning money from this story.

c). That I am boasting.

None of which is even near accurate – I have no desire to be a columnist, if I wanted money I would have sold the story (duh) rather than put it here, and as I’ve said loads of times and in many different ways on this page but I will repeat for the wilfully obtuse – I was not boasting. And regarding Charlotte Raven – I didn’t realise that having a fully developed aesthetic sensibility makes me a bad member of ‘the sisterhood’.

But, even though you contemplated it (same goes my views on Draper and McBride, even though they didn’t publish), you didn’t, so you didn’t. Had you, my opinions would have been a personal choice which, had you not wished to hear, you should not have publicized this story.

There was probably “potential” for me to murder him, rob his flat and shit on his rug but it didn’t happen so I don’t see why you are going on about it.

Is this where he got the excuse for the e-mails not being published??? I didn’t suggest you’d contemplated that. I suggested that you’d considered luring him into compromising positions over what is a legal activity, and then using it to damage his career. Furthermore, you state that your b/f committed physical assault against him.

Back to what KB Player (who, for the avoidance of doubt, is female) said.