you will never get out of the Dark Ages until you look the problem squarely in the face

But the thing is, Sue R, none of the experts on these horrible matters agree with you. You are looking at the problem anything but squarely in the face.
Read the article John P linked to above, and have a look at the Centre for Social Cohesion’s report “Crimes of the Community” – they’re an organisation hardly famed for treating Muslims with kid gloves yet they don’t agree with you.

You want this to be a problem with Islam – regardless of the evidence which shows this matter to be much more complicated.

Don’t be a bystander. While people bystand murders like this get committed.

“Open up some safest homes for these women so they can muster up guts to hide there.” Good idea, but it’s often the inability to “muster up guts” which prevents such women accessing help (and its not their fault).

Are you Muslima, Salma? You say, “..And what do you all think would happen to her children. They are still the right of that brutal man. His word would be taken as last word. If he wants his children to live with his family then they will have to and if the family refuses then foster but not to maternal grandparents…”

If you are Muslima what are you yourself doing about this? Massive change could begin with you if you advocated publicly for these children and against violence towards Muslim women wherever they are in the world. So far as I understand it, America does not yet have to bow down to sharia law and the family court could decide what is in the best interests of the children.

So, Salma. Many of us have been loud in our criticism of the treatment of women in Islam, but – and here I agree with Sue R – ultimately it must be Muslim women themselves who summon up their courage and stand up for themselves. Your asking us rather than them to do something is perpetuating the same lack of control and lack of any sense of efficacy that pervades Muslim women’s lives.

Unfortunately, I can’t link to the tape recording of Tina Isa’s mother holding her down while her father stabs her repeatedly because she was dating and got an after school job. There’s nothing like hearing a 16 year old dying.

Still looking for the Yasser Abdul Said who last year murdered his daughters, Sarah and Amina Said

German-Afghan gets life for ‘honour killing’

In typical fashion, the family blamed the 16 year old victim.

Half the women of Gaza and the West Bank were beaten by their husbands in the past year. Highest rate in the world.

“Anyway, we’re not all murderers, we’re not all wife-beaters, and we don’t all take that from our faith. If you’re suggesting we all do, all I can say is that I don’t.”

No one is saying that all Muslims are murderers of wife beaters. Although the fact that the Quran says men ought to beat their wives might suggest that some are taking that from their faith. The fact that Islamic law cannot punish honour killings either (while also not punishing rapes) makes them just a little more likely.

“Mind you, I hear and have heard about just as much if not more domestic violence stuff from my non-Muslim friends and co-workers growing up here as I have from family in Pakistan.”

Given Americans habit of talking about everything, no matter how personal, all the time, I would suggest that this means there is more domestic violence in Pakistan – and the UN’s statistics seem to show this. As big a percent of Pakistani women are beaten every year as American women are in their lifetimes.

“How bout some, I dunno, humanity?”

Sure. I can think of one American Muslima who would have loved some.

“Islam doesn’t condone murder. No faith group does, I think.”

Of course Islam and several other Abrahamic religions condone murder. The problem here is that Islamic law makes it next to impossible to punish honour crimes – they are quasi-torts which involves the next of kin deciding whether to accept blood money or the death penalty. If they next of kin decide to treat it as a tort, they are paid the diya. Simple question – in cases of honour killings, who decides if it is a tort or not and to whom is the diya paid and by whom?